Healthy Relationships

A healthy relationship involves two people who feel good about themselves and each other
Your partner isn’t there to make you feel good about yourself nor are you there to make them feel good about themselves.

You both need to be able to do this for yourselves.

Focus on being happy with yourself, and don’t take on the responsibility of worrying about someone else’s happiness.

In a healthy relationship:

• You make major decisions together
• You enjoy activities together
• The needs of the individual do not come at the expense of the family or the relationship
• Each partner’s needs are equally considered
• The strengths of each person are valued
• Each is seen as intelligent and competent
• The contributions of each are valued
• You share parenting and household responsibilities
• You care for each other
• You support each other’s interests
• You are respectful to each other.

Unhealthy Relationships

Some people have ideas about love or behaviour that could be unhealthy or dangerous

You can tell if you are in an unhealthy relationship if you experience any of the following:

• Having to be careful around your partner to avoid their anger
• Feeling pressured by your partner when it comes to sex
• Being scared to disagree with your partner
• Having your partner always checking up on what you have been doing without them
• Being made to feel stupid, crazy or inadequate by your partner
• Being treated by your partner with violence or threatening behaviour
• Being prevented by your partner from going out or doing things you want
• Having to do things that please your partner rather than yourself
• Being unable to spend time with friends because of your partner’s jealousy
• Accepting excuses for a partner’s abusive behaviour eg. “they had too much to drink, it wasn’t really their fault”, or “ It has only happened once, it won’t happen again”

It can be tempting to make excuses or misinterpret violence as an expression of love.
But even if you know that the person hurting you loves you, it is not healthy.

No one deserves to be hit, shoved, or forced into anything she doesn’t want to do.

How This may be affecting you

Often the first indication that there is something wrong in the way you are being treated is how you feel. If you have been in an abusive relationship you may feel:

• Afraid to tell anyone
• Worried that it’s your fault
• Depressed and alone
• Confused
• Scared of coping on your own
• Scared it will get worse if you leave
• Worried about what others may think
• Afraid that no-one will believe you
• Frustrated and sad because you’ve tried everything

Your Rights

You have the right to:
• share equally in decision making
• express your opinions and have them respected
• take it slowly and progress at your own pace
• have your emotional needs be as
important as your partner’s

When someone loves you,
you feel valued,
respected and
free to be yourself

You shouldn’t be made to feel
intimidated or controlled.

Tips for a Healthy Relationship

• Listen to each other
• Show respect for wishes and limits
• Communicate openly with each other
• Expect to treat your partner well, and to be treated well
• Know that you both have a right to feel safe
• Healthy relationships have two equal partners

Relationship Checklist

Being treated with respect means your partner:

Is willing to compromise
Lets you feel comfortable being yourself
Is able to admit to being wrong
Tries to resolve conflict by talking honestly
Enables you to feel safe being with them
Respects your feelings, opinions and your friends
Accepts you saying no to things you don’t want to do (like sex)
Accepts you changing your mind
Respects your wishes if you want to end the relationship

When someone really
likes or loves you,
they treat you with respect

EXPECT RESPECT